Things that make your ears bleed: Dhinchak Pooja

India is a wonderful nation, where people of different castes, cultures, languages and variable IQ levels co-exist. In this glorious nation, we have many genres of music, both the original kind and the songs re-done by Anu Malik or Baadshah. Hence, I am not entirely surprised that in India, every kind of musical talent is given a chance to prove its worth, including the new YouTube sensation, the current queen of IndiPop and possibly the mother of dragons, Dhinchak Pooja.

I was always a part of the youth who wanted their parents to stop shoving education down their throats and let them pursue their dreams. Three Dhinchak Pooja songs later, I have effectively switched sides, and now I’m a part of ‘listen to your kid’s voice at least once before you even let him/her roam near the microphone‘ team. Her songs have meaningless, borderline-absurd lyrics, computer-generated beats playing on loop, and a progression that you may end up dancing to if you have taken enough amount of drugs. Actually, that is true for every EDM song ever.

In her quest to become an international sensation, Dhinchak Pooja is not leaving a stone unturned. Her songs, for whatever reason, are getting millions of views, she has her own cult following called the Dhinchuks(Arabic for ullu ke paththe), and her lyrics include, or are in entirety, the words Daaru, Selfie, Swag and Scooter. Going at this rate, we will soon have Sanam Puri covers of her songs. Imagine Selfie Maine le li aaj in his voice. Armageddon.

She is getting a lot of criticism for her lack of musical talent, stupid lyrics, and existence on earth in general, but I must admire her courage. She is giving the same number of fucks that a cow dropping a turd in the middle of the road gives to the cars honking at it, where dropping a turd is also an effective metaphor to describe the act of releasing her latest song Dilon ka Shooter. People say that she is doing what she loves, and she should not care about what others think of her. I agree, because India is a free country, and nothing can stop Rahul Gandhi from being a politician, Taco Bell from being a food restaurant, and Dhinchak Pooja from being a singer.

My hatred for her reminds me of my old part-time job as a Sonam Kapoor critic, where critic is a mild word because mummy kehti hai gaaliyan dena buri baat hai, while Sonam and Kapoor are two words that along with President Trump and Arvind Kejriwal, belong to my list of ‘Two words that are hilarious when put together’. Sonam Kapoor claims she is an actress, and after 13 movies, gave us the national award winning performance in Neerja. Let’s see how many songs it takes for Dhinchak Pooja to give us a Grammy-winner finally.

Call me an optimist or a feminist. It’s your choice.

Or may be she is India’s answer to Taher Shah. We are a competitive nation, after all. 


About Ankit Sharma

Doctor and Drummer in making... Movie-buff since birth.
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