Women are special and important to this world. They were created by God right after Adam first set foot on earth because God is intelligent and he didn’t create an anti-virus before he saw what the virus looked like and was doing to himself and the earth. Not everyday is International Women’s Day, but I would like to take a moment to thank, cherish and attempt jokes at the women in my life.
Expectedly enough, she is a stereotypical Punjabi mother, who is proud that I am a doctor, but also pissed that I don’t fill the water bottles and keep in the fridge after drinking. She is happy to feed me Gobhi parathe with butter even if she’s not feeling well, but also angry that I am a lazy fool who is doing ‘tiktik‘ on his phone all day. She fondly remembers all those small things about me, like the first time I said Ma, the first time she ran after me in the street with a slipper in her hand and the first time she went to my Parents-Teacher meeting. The last moment is supposedly her most embarrassing moment till date. I’ll wait and see if that changes when she reads my blogs.
I prefer to call my girlfriend as my partner because it makes me sound intellectual and classy (to myself), and also the fact that she knows a lot of secrets about me, hence I must make this paragraph sound nice about her. Before meeting her, I was a skinny, stupid boy with self-esteem issues and now, after 7 years, all thanks to her, I am skinny, stupid boy with self-esteem issues and a girlfriend. To think that there is someone who wants to hear my voice daily, without wanting to throw a brick at my face because of all the lame jokes I crack at a rate of 3 per minute, is a blissful feeling.
Ex-flames and crushes
From unrequited love and getting friendzoned, to restraining-order-level outright rejection, I’ve had a lot of stories in my life. My favourite reply was “it’s not you, it’s me” which roughly translated to “shakal se hi chutiya lagta hai tu” in Hindi. Some other gems were “you’ll find someone better than me” which meant “arranged marriage me hi koi phas Sakti hai tujhse” and “you’re one of my best friends, and I can never feel for you this way”, which was a slightly more polite version of “Bwahahahahaha kaise soch kaise liya be tune?”. About the present, I clam lucky that I can have a crush on multiple women without my girlfriend feeling insecure because more than her trust in my faithfulness, she has a lot of confidence in my face.
They say that your bhabhi is like your mother, and I would say she can even be better than a mother because my bhabhi has never tried to force-feed me green vegetables, nor has she criticised my hairstyle or an attempt at keeping a beard by calling me an ogre. She is the sweetest person in my life, a great partner to my brother, a great daughter to my parents and the person who will always like my Facebook posts because no one else does and she knows that it hurts my feelings.
Cousins and Friends
There are women who have to tolerate me because they are related to me by blood, and there are women who do so by choice. My friends feel bad for my cousins’ luck while my cousins (when I show them photographs as a proof that I have friends), question the choices in life made by my friends. Just kidding. I’m very lucky that many of my female friends became my rakhi sisters to feel safe.
Now all of them take a backseat, because the angel has arrived. And she’ll call me Chachu. 🙂
The cutest thing in the world, isn’t she?