In this small life of 26 years, I have done quite a few things to boost my self-confidence, like
making a fool out of myself dancing on stage at my college freshers’ event, going on a one day trip rediscovering myself alone(which was mostly drinking beer in an AC hotel room because north Indian summers are a bitch), and most recently, getting a permanent tattoo. Getting a tattoo, according to a lot of instagram celebrities (also known as ‘fashion bloggers’ or women who click too many selfies inside a Zara trial room), is a liberating thing, as it makes you feel closer to your body, and though not applicable in every (and especially mine) case, a few extra likes for that new off-shoulder Mango top.
In this post, I will try and answer a few questions that people usually ask me once they have recollected their senses after looking at my tattoo and shouting “Ye kya hai BC!!”
Q: Why did you get a tattoo?
I can give a lot of wannabe-ness as an answer to this, like it made me feel liberated, closer to my soul, for nostalgia and pride, but for right now, I’ll be honest. I just wanted to take the focus off my crooked nose.
Q: Why did you get it on this part of your body?
Women get it on the back of their shoulder because they usually have nice backs as well as nice clothes to show it off. Men, who can not do that because backs in this part of country are too hairy for anyone’s comfort, usually work out and get tattoos on biceps and chest because they have ripping muscles in those regions. By the same logic, it makes complete sense that I got my tattoo on my right forearm, which, oddly enough, may be the only part of my body with well-developed muscles.
Q: What did you get?
I got a pair of drum sticks to denote my love for percussion, but the pair mostly looks like chop-sticks, and even though I like chinese food, I’m sure fungal growth on my plate would be faster than my eating speed using chopsticks.
I also got a pen to signify my love for writing humor. Even though I type my blogs on my phone, but a pen was better than getting a qwerty keypad tattooed on my body. That would have been stupid AND expensive, an adjective combination usually reserved by middle class people for lingerie.
I also got a stethoscope, because no matter how much my professors may argue, I passed MBBS with my own brains, and meri degree KHREEDI HUI NAHI HAI. The steth might look like a computer mouse from a distance but that is what should happen when your thinking, character and tattoo bill combined together are cheaper than a Littmann.
Q: Why does it look so funny?
It was supposed to be a personal idea, not some Picasso level work of art. Also, I went to Rajouri and not South Delhi because if I have more than five thousand rupees to spend, I would go Russian for a day (well, night) than get Inked forever.
Q: Did it hurt?
On a scale of 1-10, where 1 is pain just after getting out you-know-what stuck inside the trousers zip, and 10 is getting kicked in the groin, my pain score was *insert Tushar Kapoor sounds from Golmaal movie*.