Ever since I have started understanding the concept of conversation, I have always wondered what the old and supposedly experienced people mean when they give you free, unasked-for advise about life and career, which is mostly “study well or you won’t get laid, ever” in a polite, approved-for-family-audience language. People often say that staying hungry and motivating yourself is the key to achieve bigger things, though hunger makes me cranky, and I have had failures of Sooraj Pancholi proportions while trying to motivate myself.
My sudden loss of motivation to achieve anything may or may not have anything to do with the realisation that this world is unfair and actually, it sucks. This is what I came up while trying to justify Nargis Fakhri dating Uday Chopra, because while I can believe that true love is blind, I am sure even Dhritrashtra would have disapproved of the match. I was a good student once, I excelled at studies during my school time(which during simpler times meant getting 20/20 in consecutive unit tests, not getting 99.6% in 10th boards and making others feel like Nawazuddin Siddique in a male model hunt), and later decided to quit all earthly things of Moh-Maaya by taking up biology after 10th boards because “that’s what the kids who thought they were cool” doing, though the actual cool kids were learning guitar and becoming friends with the opposite sex. In hindsight, the chapter on reproduction and the childish giggling whenever the teacher pronounced it as ‘Kandom‘ wasn’t just worth it.
My purpose of getting into medical school was same as most: to waste my most enjoyable years. That, and to heal others and make this world a happy place. It wasn’t easy to get through humiliating years, and I felt I lost most of my motivation after repeatedly hearing “No I don’t like you, leave me alone you creep!”. Just kidding. No one was sweet enough to request like that. It was usually a knee to the groin. It’s not that I have never tried to motivate myself, but let me tell you why things that may work for others did not work for me:
1. Posters: Of course I could buy Swami Vivekananda posters to know better things in life, but being the philanthropist I am, I choose to buy Playboy posters to support life of poor kids of Mexico and USA instead.
2. Motivational quotes: To be honest, I can’t help but look for double meaning in the most innocent of quotes. For me, “Just do it” goes as good with Stay-On Capsules as it does with Nike.
3. Rocky movie series: For many, it is a series of how a boxer made it big because of his hard work, but for me, it is how Rambo decided to switch careers and then started talking funny with a twisted lower lip because of amount of brain trauma he sustained because frankly, he sucked at boxing. But then I am the one who laughed at Darsheel Safary’s buck teeth for 3 hours in Taare Zameen Par, so I don’t think anyone takes my reviews seriously.
I still have loads to look forward to in life, like getting a permanent job and getting married and becoming a father (may or may not be in that order) and eventually reaching the ultimate goal of mid-life crisis. By that time, I am positive that I would be experienced enough to impart ultimate wisdom to younger generation: “study well or you won’t get laid, ever” in a polite, approved-for-family-audience language.