Karma is a bitch. In your small life in this unjust world, you will do bad, knowingly or otherwise, to a few people. God has funny ways to punish you, hence from time to time, he will send one of his goons to torture us all. Well, that is the only explanation I could think of while justifying Taher Shah’s existence on this earth. Of course I am talking about ‘The’ Taher Shah, the Pakistani
singer lyrics-speaker who has mastered the art of giving ear infections through music, and is now spreading otitis media and probably Alzheimer’s via YouTube. This post is going to be full of hatred directed at his videos, but he is a Pakistani national, hence I can expect a Padma award nomination from the BJP government for my contribution to nationalism (or as Kohli calls it, Pakistan ki maa-behen karna).
Mid-life crisis actually exists, we all know about it, and most of us have seen someone go through it. But a guy in mid-40s wearing a purple gown, a tiara and carrying a wand singing “I’m an angel, Mankind’s angel”? That’s a rare case study right there, my psychiatry friends! Worse, he drags his wife and kid into the video, hence destroying his wife’s kitty party career and his son’s Throwback Thursday posts on Facebook forever. Imagine the comments when the kid posts this video some 10 years later.
Random girl: OMG you look so cute in this!
Kid: thanx so much babes
Random girl: you never told me you had a creepy babysitter.
Kid: That’s my dad
Random girl: *throws her laptop into fire*
I believe music has a purpose. The lyrics “mankind’s angel” make me want to believe that he wrote this to achieve world peace. Although in all probablity this is some new acoustic form of terrorism or a result of excessive amount of free time combined with overdose of narcotic drugs. Or may be he is a cult figure created by Pakistan just to prove itself equal to India:
India: we have nuclear weapons
Pakistan: we have nuclear weapons
India: we have Virat Kohli
Pakistan: we have Coke studio
India: We have Kamaal Rashid Khan
Pakistan: “Let there be Taher Shah”
He also has another song to his credit, called ‘eye to eye’, in which he used almost every adjective for beautiful, like sensational, blissful, glorious (including the word ‘spectrum’, most probably to show his hatred for engineering colleges) to praise, wait for it, HIS OWN EYES, while the video shows close-ups of his ‘unimpressive, threatening and probably harboring conjunctivitis’ eyes. This song was dubsmashed by Ranveer Singh, which may or may not have been the effect of being Sonakshi Sinha’s friend in the past.
The videos (directed by Pakistan’s version of Kanti Shah: Taher Shah) are soon to be put to good use by the government, such as treatment of porn addiction and getting criminals to confess their crimes. Taher Shah might keep producing such *censored language* music, stay on as a social media phenomenon, and keep uprooting ‘art’ out of the word artist, after all, he is an angel, mankind’s angel.
*waits for God’s wrath for saying that*