Winters in Delhi are special for me. I don’t say that just because I get to wear six layers of clothes and hence I am happy that I look less skinny. Well, actually I am not sure if I prefer summers or winters in Delhi, because I can’t decide what I like more: Dehydration or being unable to feel my fingertips.
Delhi winters are special as it has been mentioned in popular literature as well. Remember the song ‘Pyaar tera… Dilli ki sardi’? I actually disagree with the song, because no love in this world can make your testicles retract back into your abdomen, like dilli ki sardi can, and no love can make you prefer Indian toilet seats to I-don’t-want-to-sit-on-that-damn-iceberg English seat, like dilli ki sardi can. Delhi winters also bring a lot of smog with it, and you people should be more considerate about pollution. Really, you people need to introspect, like I do whenever I light up a smoke while driving to a bonfire party in my Diesel car. Moving on, Here are a few things I like about Delhi winter season:
1. Reduced frequency of bathing: Since childhood years, December has been the only month of a year during which my mother had allowed an ‘Alternate-Days-Only’ bathing regime, which gradually went to alternately-alternate days to rarely to the present frequency of ‘I live alone so kya ukhaad lunga naha key‘. I’m just kidding. I’ll take a bath as soon as I get a geyser installed.
2. Haute Cold Couture: You know it is winters when you spend less than 10 minutes inside the bathroom and more than 30 minutes outside, wearing clothes. A man needs a vest, a warmer, a tee, a shirt, a pullover, may be a jacket over that, jeans and then a live tandoor inside his underwear before he is finally ready to go to work. Women somehow manage to stay brave and defy logic because they feel that avoiding frost-bites is not as important as wearing sleeve-less gowns and sarees in a wedding.
3. The festival of Lohri: It used to be an undergraduate era party event where bonfire, dry fruits, popcorn and Pepsi bottles diluted with bitter fluids kept our bodies warm, and our moods cheerful and intoxicated. Lohri is also about facebook updates of the first two lines of the song ‘Sundar Mundariye’ because that’s all you remember, and sometimes giggling like an idiot on hearing, err… the word Lohri.
4. Foggy breath: I still sometimes put a pen to my mouth and then exhale to make it seem like I’m holding a cigarette. Don’t laugh at me. Low IQ is not something you should make fun of.
So, because winter is here, my advise is to take out those jackets, quilts and if you’re Kejriwal, your entire collection of mundane gray coloured mufflers and just stay at home drinking coffee. Also, remember that those extra 10 minutes of morning sleep are much more worth it than mortal earthly concepts of bathing and hygiene.
Where can I find a chhota tandoor?
Read about Delhi Summer here.