The past week was a good week to be an Indian, because NRIs and Godmen, the only two categories of humans we Indians can’t seem to find a fault with, were trending on twitter. For those who couldn’t follow the news at all due to lack of time and interest (drug abusers and/or doctors), an NRI nerd called Sundar Pichai became the CEO of Google, and another nerd called Radhe Maa, who probably lost her mental balance during her 10th standard board exams, became Rakhi Sawant of the Godmen community.
Radhe Maa, as Wikipedia tells us(Yes, she has a Wikipedia page. So does Asaram. Now laugh at your worthless life and kill yourself),
had a normal childhood and education till 10th standard after which she developed unreal expectations like becoming a movie actress regardless of her punjabi accent and may be getting married without having to pay dowry. When her bubble burst, she took to spirituality right around the time Student Of The Year song Radha came around, and just like every woman going through midlife crisis, she took the song too seriously. People have alleged that she is not a noble godman, because obviously, there is nothing called as ‘noble godman’.
She has allegations of dowry demand, physical assault and indecent exposure against her. The first two can be attributed to her Punjabi roots, which I am sure overpower her ‘Godliness’ right around the third drink, but she did have a good explanation for wearing small clothes while giving pravachan in Mumbai: “The Mall’s AC wasn’t working!” She is being called a fraud because she dances on Bollywood tunes and she is not meant to do that. Good job India! Similar complaints against Sonakshi Sinha. Make me proud.
In other news, a former IIT student Sundar Pichai became the CEO of google, completing another IITian’s revenge against people who went to cool colleges. He is most probably the first virgin IITian to hold such a high post. Of course now his college-time friends are afraid he will get to know their entire search history, including Radhe Maa hot pics. I am very proud of Sundar, but sad about getting some more look-at-him-and-look-at-yourself looks from parents. I hope he will do great at his new job, and not quit it to write novels about how he got laid once in IIT and then again in IIM.
A few Indians are critical of him because he is an NRI and even supports a USA football club, so he is not at all Indian, because Indians only support Manchester United. Here’s to hoping that he will put up an ‘I’m feeling horny’ button with google search that will yield the search results which actually matter for the Indian youth, because allegedly, Sundar’s interest in Google started around puberty when he mistook the double O’s in the Google for some part of female anatomy. And look where he is now.
Sundar’s story shall become a motivation for young Indians, because if you work hard enough and NOT opt for medical stream in 11th, this is how far you can go. However, if you opt for medical, you will get to write jealous blog-posts about Sundar, which is not that exciting.
Happy Independence Day.