‘Rise’ Against Ban On Porn


In the latest assault by the government to the rights of Indian public, the telecom ministry has taken away our favourite one of the three basic needs of a human being (Roti, Kapda and Porn), hence leaving us with no choice but to go for movies like Leela and Kuch Kuch Locha Hai to watch Sunny Leone. The government, even after realising how tough it would be for Karnataka’s MLAs to pass time in the assembly now, has decided to ban 857 websites in the list which is the entire text of the upcoming Chetan Bhagat novel What Young India Really Wants.

The reason that they have given is that watching porn leads to rape, which could be true, because most porn videos that they have seen feature men eating aphrodisiac chowmein and women doing erotic and condemnable acts such as talking on phone and wearing jeans. I wish they could have seen some normal run-of-the-mill porn which has helped so many medical and IIT students get some sleep before an exam. The other reason that they have given is that porn is fake and exaggerated and leads to domestic violence because of high expectations. Most of the Indian youth is ‘done’ by the time the foreplay comes to an end, so we have no idea what they are talking about. First of all, it is called BDSM, you illiterates, and secondly, whatever happens between a man and his right hand is no one else’s business.

Of course it won’t be long till people find their way out of this. They have banned a total of 857 sites, but we still have torrents, the greatest tool for sharing porn since the invention of Bluetooth and Nokia 6600. Rahul Gandhi will again take a vacation to south-east asia to, you know, introspect. Yahoo chat rooms may get crowded again. Watching ‘Tu chiz badi hai mast mast’ video may again become the closest thing to losing one’s virginity.

I wish we could do some sort of Gandhian protest against this to force the govt to go back on this, like making ‘LK Advani hot pics’ the most searched phrase on google, or whistling and passing lewd comments at Nitin Gadkari’s legs whenever he walks out in those Khakee shorts. This could be really harsh on ourselves.

Hey BJP!! I am a twenty-five year old unmarried guy and I stand against ban on porn. It is my favourite way of wasting my productive time in life.

 

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About Ankit Sharma

Doctor and Drummer in making... Movie-buff since birth.
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4 Responses to ‘Rise’ Against Ban On Porn

  1. Abhishek Chandra says:

    I wanna watch your mother consoling you on your behaviour on her milk feeding. i think that will be superb as you are dumb evil not understanding the main affect of your support. First revise chapters of Indian decency. Here woman means Mother. And porn means an evil act.

    • Ankit Sharma says:

      Respected sir, I may not agree with your idea that all the things that are considered as mother in Indian culture(every woman, Dharti maa, Cow, etc ) cannot be made fun of. However, I am ready to revise chapters of Indian Decency. Please suggest a good textbook, but please not the Shiv sena code of conduct.

  2. Abhishek Chandra says:

    It is a matter of ethics. Today child of age 4 is easily accesible to internet and learn the evil things when they have to start their primary education. Pornography can revise chapters of child marriages. All children after watching start sensing all nearby female citizens. It is unnatural, inhumane which affect security against female citizen who start fearing of being raped or abducted for trafficking. So please rise your inner wisdom and for god sake understand the morality and our existence to extend it. Leave all negative uses of useful things. Try some fine video for yourself.

    • Ankit Sharma says:

      By the same logic, every single smoker in India is a result of Anurag Kashyap’s movies. In a debate on women safety, I believe in the concept of teaching boys how to behave rather than blaming videos or environment or blog posts or telling girls what to wear. And I don’t believe porn can make a primary school child abduct or traffick a girl. We have malnourished children here, not hulks

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