For an average Delhiite, celebrating 25th birthday can give a sense of insecurity inversely proportional to the number of Litres of Olay anti-ageing cream that he or she bathes in every morning. However, for a few guys, it can be a pleasant day as now revenge can be planned against the two bars which refused to serve them alcohol 5 years ago. Revenge, just like Budweiser, is best served chilled, so now they can go back and show their driving license and ask for some, only to be told “Sir, your license has expired”. Anyways, screw Delhi Transport Corp.
25th birthday was quite a confusing day, because frankly, I felt too old to have a drink-till-I-puke party, and too
broke young to have a fine dining experience at some good place. So as always, I turned to a very wise and experience person called Google for ideas on how to celebrate the day. Here are a few popular ideas that it gave me:
• Theme party
I once was went to a football-theme party, where the official wardrobe provider was the Palika shop who gave us all the eighth-copy of the first-copy of the original jerseys. To my surprise, and to everyone else’s horror, I already had a yellow tee, so I decided to go as a referee to save money. I thought about having a cricket-theme party this time, where I could buy a sixth-copy of the Indian Jersey, and hurl abuses at everyone in the party so that people could guess that I was Virat Kohli. Then Bangladesh taught us a lesson, and I dropped the idea.
• Short and quick trip
It was one idea that actually worked. There were two ‘short and quick’ trips made that day. I made one to the local theka and the domino’s guy made the other from the restaurant to my place.
• Something wild
I wish I was making this up, but their idea was to take a sex-selfie and post it on social media to show everyone my wild side. Pardon me for being naïve, but how is posing with my laptop and tissue papers going to get me likes or show my wild side is beyond me. I wish they had made a suggestion to do something wild in terms of not using facebook, or doing three pull-ups.
• Buy yourself a gift
However lonely you are, DO NOT EVER buy yourself a gift. I am staying away from home now, so I bought myself a plant to talk to when I am feeling alone. Not only is a plant extremely unresponsive(or a good listener, depends upon your gender), most of our conversations end with me saying “What do you know, you’re just a plant!” or “Stop judging me, you green freak!” May be I am losing my mind, but hey, at least I didn’t buy a cactus and pick up a fight with it.
Getting older makes you less athletic and more desperate, other than making you the proud owner of the wisdom teeth that refuse to grow straight. Also, you need to get hold of your finances and life, because you are now old enough to drink and hence at an ever-present risk of destroying both of them. You will only turn 25 once, so my advise is to do something wild, like putting on an Indian cricket team jersey, going out, taking a deep breath, coughing violently because, you know, pollution, and hence abuse loudly so that everyone knows who you are dressed as.