Hey! The Doctor Got His First Salary!


Like all ‘First’ things in life, for example first love, first facebook like and first kick in the nuts, the first salary is also an ‘unforgettable’ experience. It makes one feel important, as well as invites mature thoughts to one’s mind such as “If I stop drinking, the salary might last a full month”. It invokes happiness and pride in our parents, as well as leech-like behaviour in friends, who congratulate us from the bottom of their hearts with words like “Abey treat kab dega, Saale baniya hai kya?”

The first thing that I have bought with my paycheck is a laptop, because I intend to do important and productive work like watching Big Bang Theory for hours, till my mother starts to give me looks. The second important thing that I did was to download torrent software because, you know, Winter is coming. Up next in my ‘Things I would buy if at all I get my salary’ list is a drum set, or as my friends call it, bum-bhos**a.

My parents say that now that I have started earning, I should start thinking about saving which, if you ask me, is just a middle-class urban legend because after tax-deductions, petrol and lunch expenditure, and a few treats, my bank account statement reads LOL. I now realise what ‘nanga nahayega kya aur nichodega kya’ means. There is an important reason that doctors advise to say no to drugs, because whatever we earn, is enough for our need, but none for our weed.

About the salary amount, let me just say that I earn the maximum one can in India if he practices what he learnt while getting a degree. The two professions which have more money that medicine are Consultancy and Politics, but last I checked, IITs were not teaching finances, and in India, you do not need a degree to be a politician if your surname is Gandhi. I am not making a comparison with businessmen because of sheer jealousy. Doctors can also be rich, but kidney market is really not that hot nowadays. #PapaKehteHainBadaNaamKarega

I am almost 25, and earning, which means I no more believe that doctor is just another term for unemployed and/or broke. I can proudly proclaim that it is a very hard-earned sum, with patients at my neck and Aamir Khan’s fist up my rear. About the sum, I agree that doctors are not satisfied with what they get, but that is just because of increasing cost of hair-transplant, because a doctor’s mid-life crisis is bald and not-so-beautiful.

Now I am waiting for the eighth pay commission, so that I can do the one thing that rich people do different from middle class: Drink Johnnie Walker bought with their own money.


About Ankit Sharma

Doctor and Drummer in making... Movie-buff since birth.
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