Being Junior Resident – II: Freebies!

 

Without caring about the risk of getting an episode of Satyamev Jayate dedicated to me, I am going to write about doctors’ fondness of getting free things. Right from the times of getting free stationary as return gifts on birthdays, to the current era of free food at Continuing Medical Education(CME) Workshops, we doctors have kept that indigenous Baniya spirit alive inside us. As an enthusiastic JR, most of my conversations regarding immediate benefit of the patients include the words: “Not cap wala yaar! I want click-tick wala pen!”

It’s not that my life wouldn’t go on if I wouldn’t get to eat free food at hotels in disguise of training sessions, but it is indeed very helpful to my career because of two reasons:
1. Because otherwise, my salary enables me to afford two plates of ‘LOL’ and one plate of ‘aage badh bey, aukaat dekhi hai apni’ at the same hotel.
2. I get the opportunity to show off later and feel socially relevant by writing extensive blog posts about it. #ForeverAlone

It is as much about getting things for free, as it is about attending educational seminars to promote our information level from ‘Knows nothing’ to ‘Attended so many CMEs and still knows nothing’. The seminars provide us with opportunity to interact with senior doctors, who look at us and feel proud of having lived in a time when students did not sell their souls for a free lunch. We realise this fact, and hence it is an opportunity for us to introspect deeply about matters such as Why 5 star food is so average, and What was the bald Doctor’s PowerPoint all about?

I have decided to enjoy while I can, because I don’t think this excitement is going to last till the time I have more hair on my ears than on my head (the same time when CMEs might start making some sense to me). I guess by that time, I would have gotten bored of pens and food, so I might feel a little ashamed, and hence plan to limit myself to asking for online shopping vouchers only.

On a serious note, I should try and answer allegations on Doctors and pharmaceuticals only increasing their profits by selling expensive drugs, I have two words… Quality and Research. Hopefully Aamir Khan can understand all this, if at all he gets time from counting his crores or ogling at Katrina Kaif. Else, for all I care, Aamir Khan can suck on my… err… Click-Tick wala pen.

You can read the first part here.

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About Ankit Sharma

Doctor and Drummer in making... Movie-buff since birth.
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