I recently made a small trip to Ahmedabad, Gujarat for my admission in MD Anaesthesia, and was congratulated by many friends who used kind and motivating words like “Dry state hai mar jaega Saale” and “Choli pehni kisi ladki ki photo bhej na”. Gujarat is a wonderful land of warm people, sweet food and a language which can make even Bajrang Dal people want to make out with same sex people. It is such a lovely language that a turned-on mood is now expressed in terms of “Majja Aawi Gayo” units. Almost Fifty Shades of Chhe!
Talking about Gujarati language, the best word that I learned was Gaanda, which is Gujarati for stupid. Or at least that’s what they told me when they were saying that word and laughing while pointing at me. Anyways, going by that word, Punjabi is just a vowel-change away from Gujarati.
I don’t think I am exaggerating when I say that Ahmedabad is as awesome as Goa, only minus the beaches and alcohol and weather. Well, to be honest, it has got its own IIM, so the city has got more chances of an Indian guy getting laid here than in Goa(at least that’s what Chetan Bhagat tells us).
The roads are smooth, the highways are even smoother, and the flyovers ‘Amit Shah’s scalp lubricated with Dabur Amla’ smooth. There are also huge malls filled with teenagers clicking selfies and standing outside movie halls trying to strike a balance between their hormonal rage and the price of movie tickets. Hence, a Delhiite can never feel homesick here. All said and done, it is a dry state, at least officially, and hence one cannot sit in a bar and impress a woman by buying her a drink. You can, however, buy her a pair of dandiya sticks followed by hours of Raas-Garba, after which she will become dizzy and you can awaken your inner Shakti Kapoor.
As a tourist, I asked around for places to visit and someone actually said(I am not making this up) the following words: “Go to Satellite road. It is very developed.” Hence, the inference is that in Gujarat, roads are divided into Developed, Okayish and ‘bilkul saras na chhe’. They all are, however, very smooth.
I wish I could have had a chance to appreciate the beauty of Gujarati women, but it was indeed a very short trip, hence almost all the Gujaratis that I met were shopkeepers and/or auto drivers. I wish to change that, and hence I would prefer my next visit to be during the Biannual Gujju Women Beauty-Blooming Festival, or as the north Indians call it, the Navratras.