Disclaimer: Only a review of the movie by a Bollywood enthusiast. No intention at all to hurt any sentiments or beliefs of the 5 crore followers. I am obviously afraid of dying.
When you are an actor, singer, producer and director in Bollywood, you can either be the radio-active lizard look-alike with a moustache: Kamaal R Khan or, you can be Farhan Akhtar. Once you take these qualities and mix them with Rajnikant’s action sequences and wrap the result in clothes so bright that can even make Govinda feel jealous, you get the protagonist of the biggest Godman advertisement in disguise of a movie.
Actually, the movie is beyond the concept of reviews because you don’t review such originality and lack of sense. Still, let us try and decipher the… Whatever you call it.
1. The protagonist is a Godman who does good deeds like rehabilitating prostitutes and distributing Rooh-Afza sharbat as an anti-craving agent for drugs. Also, in his free time, he likes to defy laws of physics by flying his bike in the air and catching a hot air balloon mid-air. In a way, he is the original flying Sikh.
2. He is, somehow, a well qualified and trained doctor too. He not only treats a case of fertilizer poisoning by (I am NOT making this up!) bending the patient over a matka and literally punching the froth out of him, he also tells prognosis of a victim in proper medical terminology like “Arey. Ye to bohot serious hai.” Dear doctors, please do a Mohammed Ali and throw your degrees in the river. Or at least a tub filled with your own tears as a result of having watched the movie.
3. His followers claim that the protagonist can treat AIDS and 3rd stage cancer by his blessings. So, NACO might start a new regime with:
(℞) Baba’s blessings TDS x 3 months.
HIV! You be humans’ bitch now!
However, no mention was made about any treatment for gullibility and low IQ.
4. My sincere congratulations to the wardrobe department of the movie. Somewhere, right now, a certain Manish Malhotra is crying himself to sleep.
5. If you are not a believer and also don’t have spare time and money, then you can go to watch this for only one reason. Music. The lyrics obviously are farcical and preachy, but hey! Add some house beats to it, and you have a party album ready.
Please. No drugs or alcohol to go with it. Rooh-Afza, however, is allowed.
Jeeyenge Marenge Movie Tolerate karenge!!! Arey Desh ke liye!!