Red rose – ₹50
Box of Fererro Rochers – ₹250
Cheapest stuffed toy you can buy at a traffic light – ₹30
Greeting cards for promise and proposal days – ₹200(Archie’s)/ ₹5(handmade on folded coloured paper)
Unfulfilled hope of getting laid on Valentine’s Day – PRICELESS
There are things that money CAN buy. For everything else, there’s “Laila Massage Parlour”.
Finally, the good old times are back, when young Indian boys are unable to sleep in the night and are kept awake and aroused because of the passion. But enough about the Cricket world cup. This year, India’s first match is against Pakistan on 15th Feb, making it the only 14th Feb when instead of Indian girls, the guys will fake a headache and sleep early.
Coming back to the main point, Valentine’s week has now become a very important period for Indian economy. According to a fictional survey, companies like Archie’s, Hallmark, Durex and Zivame note an increase in revenue of upto 270%. However, that is nothing compared to the profit that Paharganj hotel owners make during the week.
Another survey was conducted in Delhi colleges to know the percentage of people who would be dating someone, and about 76% of male students in engineering and medical colleges raised their hands when asked if they had a girlfriend. It was later revealed that those guys were telling that the right hand was indeed their girlfriend.
As illustrated earlier, celebrating Valentine’s day has become more of a financial issue than a romantic one. The only time I have found myself behaving like how a woman behaves with a vegetable vendor is when I am buying roses for someone. The biggest problem is that there is rose day, V-day, birthday and anniversary worth of roses that one has to gift, and them it will be saved in some God-forsaken book and on some random day, a question of life and death will pop up at random: Yaad hai kab Diya tha yeh walla? My advise: Bhaag Milkha Bhaag!! Mud ke na dekhiin!
This year, under an anti-dowry scheme, Hindu Mahasabha has announced that they will forcibly marry off couples who are found dating on Valentine’s day, because the most obscene and anti-culture deed that you can do in India is to have a burger with your girlfriend on a Saturday. Please notice only the satire, and not the fact that my idea of Valentine’s day is Zinger meal at Rajouri KFC. I think it is romantic and nutritious, so judge all you want.