Modi government is just 8 months old, and it has already made me proud. Apart from path-breaking development schemes such as Pradhan Mantri Facebook Display Pic Likes Badhao Yojna(involves posting selfies with a broom while pretending to care about mythical things such as cleanliness with #ChaloKameenoLikeKaro), it has achieved what no past government could achieve: a Republic day guest Indians have actually some idea about.
After years of inviting people who neither have a wikipedia page nor an actual life, like Bhutan’s Secretary General or Chinese Prime Minister’s favorite Manchurian Chef, Modi government has invited the president of USA, Mr. Barack Obama, to be the chief guest for the Republic Day parade. He was the obvious second choice after Hugh Jackman declined the offer. Before Obama, mostly we had guests from smaller Asian nations because European and American guests face adjustment problems like jet-lag and intractable diarrhea.
This is the first time an American President has been invited for the event. Before this, important people from USSR have come four times, hence this decision signifies the most important change in the international politics: Indians now prefer Budweiser beer over Romanov vodka. Inviting Obama always meant more security problems, and now they are asking that a no-fly zone should be declared over Rajpath. The demand has been refused by Indians, who have instead decided to secure the area by asking Arvind Kejriwal to block the air traffic by doing a dharna and have promised that no MIG-21s will be crashed within 3km radius of Rajpath.
The security on land has been reported to be a seven-layer ring which, in layman terms, means you would have to ‘laash ke upar se guzarna padega‘ six times to reach the American President. Other obvious things used for his security include CCTV cameras, Snipers, Pepper sprays, Kiran Bedi’s tweets and our PM’s 56-inches chest.
This tour is being seen as the single most important political tour in India since the time WWE Raw came to Delhi and was attended by pre-pubertal kids who were excited about Undertaker’s entry and Lita’s clothes. But I personally feel Obama’s tour is not that important. C’mon, he is rich enough. He can afford to come and visit Taj Mahal whenever he wants and without an excuse.