We Are Indians. Always The First.

As of today, I am truly proud to be an Indian. Until a few days back, I thought our contribution to the world was limited to Zero(invented by Gujaratis) and the script for various Naughty America movies(the great book of Kama Sutra). Of course, the average Indian fitness level meant we couldn’t try half of what was taught in the book and as for America, it took them hundreds of years to decipher what Ling and Yoni actually meant.

But now, Thanks to RSS and BJP, I know that India means much more to the world in terms of Science and History. They say that Indians invented Pythagoras’ theorem as well. I agree. Indirectly, it also makes ours the country to invent children who fail Maths in 6th standard.

I think it is time for the world to give us the due credit. Sivakasi Cock fireworks invented Murga-chhap sky rocket patakha in 1956, and NASA launched its first space craft in 1964. All they did was add 200 tonnes of steel, and use kerosene as fuel instead of Phosphorus, but you have to agree that we at least thought of it first.

So what if Galileo was the first one to discover Mars in 1610? Useless discovery. We, the Indians, had much earlier discovered that rogue planet’s implications over a prospective husband’s lifespan if married to a girl who thought Mars was heavier than other planets(I have no clue about anything else that Mangal Bhaari Hai could imply). Not only that, we had also come up with scientific solutions to counter such problems, like getting married to a dog, or a tree, or Honour-killing.

In terms of creating antidotes, we Indians have always been a step ahead. For every dog-bite, we have red chilli powder paste, and for every Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Sonia Gandhi becomes a proud mother.

I wonder what next claim is to be expected from the government. May be we will claim the Laws of magnetism, because the foremost example of that is SRK opening his arms and Kajol running towards him, or may be Laws of fission reaction, because I have no better explanation for our total population right now.

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About Ankit Sharma

Doctor and Drummer in making... Movie-buff since birth.
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