The Fault In Our Bars

This post is dedicated to the booze binge that most medical students go on when their exams get over. Without being judgemental, I would like to state that ‘exams’, as an excuse to drink, could mean any question-filled interaction, from PG entrance to Professional or Semester-end or just a casual “why were you absent for the last 3 days” from the tutorial in-charge.

With limited pocket money and lack of options to borrow money from, a medico is torn apart between his ego to get served at a high-end bar and his lust for unimaginable amounts of booze that he plans to have that evening. That is where I feel that bars of New Delhi have failed its medical students.

1. Happy Hours
1+1 is expected, 2+3 is great, 1+2 is ‘bas kar pagle, rulaega kya’, but what is 3+1?!? Not only is that an insult to a final year MBBS student’s capacity, it is also an assault on their parents’ wallet. Also, the compulsion to reach a bar before 8PM(happy hours getting over) and having a girlfriend who likes to put pounds of make-up and is hence always late, can make up for a frustrating combination for some people.

2. Taxes
VAT, Service charge, Service tax, education cess, and the waiter’s judgemental looks at the end of your meal makes up for a sphincter-tightening addition to your already soaring bill. That is the case when I have to literally beg the bar crew to refill my bowl of complimentary salted peanuts. I think it is correct to ban dance bars in India. More than STDs, I am worried about new taxes like ‘Entertainment tax’, Erection cess’, and ‘Don’t-be-so-cheap-put-a-100-in-her-dress surcharge’.

3. Music
All we ask for is music according to the mood. Every bar plays its own music, and continues through the night, whereas we have our own habits. Almost every awesome hostel party follows a pattern. Start off with some EDM, then shift to anything with lyrics after the first complaint from the Haryanvi roommate. Just as the effect of booze starts to kick in, switch to Yo Yo Honey Singh. At this point, someone will get sad because of his love-life, and all would be forced to listen to Hindi romantic songs. Aadat by Atif Aslam would be the last of that part of the party, and “Forget about that slut ya!” will be followed by rectal-prolapse inducing sing-along of ‘In The End’ by Linkin Park. But the final song of every hostel party, the crème-de-la-crème of the night, is the golden Yo Yo Song which mentions Vagina in Hindi rather artistically.

The problem of music is more sinister due to the rampant karaoke nights now, because according to my friends, the only thing worse than a Yo Yo Song, is me singing it. Cheers to that


About Ankit Sharma

Doctor and Drummer in making... Movie-buff since birth.
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