Here is a list of points I am looking for in a girl for no obvious reason. A tribute to my favorite comedian Vir Das, inspired by his upcoming movie Amit Sahni ki List.
1. Must be at least 5’6″ tall. Heels are acceptable to achieve that height only if NOT accompanied by constant cribbing about having to wear them.
2. Must not be a football fan. If a football fan, must not state random facts or opinions and make me feel stupid.
3. Justin Bieber fan strictly contraindicated.
4. Must NEVER be a source of candy crush requests.
5. Maggi is the minimum requisite as well as the maximum expectation in terms of cooking.
6. Must be well educated. Allowed to correct my grammar mistakes a maximum of three times a day.
7. Must wear nice clothes. Must remember to remove brand labels to avoid being termed a show-off.
8. Cricket fan preferred, but at no point must she make any direct comparison of Virat Kohli’s beard with my irregular patches of facial hair.
9. Almost any taste in music is alright as long as I am not forced to listen to excess of Enrique or any Selena Gomez at all.
10. Must be a Game of Thrones fan. Imp must be her favorite character. She should silently pray on a daily basis that Imp must not die.
In the case she has read the book, any spoiler shall be a cause of termination of relationship with immediate effect.
11. Looks do not matter to me as long as size doesn’t matter to her.
(Request: Please do not read too much into the last point)