Home-coming of a hosteler


The experience of coming for a function at home for a guy who has come back from a phase of hostel life 5.5 years long can vary from pleasant to back-breaking. Literally back-breaking because there are about 80-plus pair of feet that you have to touch and take blessings.

In no way should this piece suggest that I don’t like my family. I love them. We are as united as a family can get. Don’t believe me?? Play a Yo Yo Honey Singh song and we’ll show you what ‘Bhojpuri vulgar soul in a Punjabi born-to-dance body’ means.

In addition to that, most of the brothers and sisters are now married and have kids. That means a lot of cute babies and kids around you to pull cheeks of, but that also means more names to be remembered and more gender goof-ups. My siblings are okay with it but somehow my elders start giving me those ‘Kids-these-days’ looks when I refer to a baby boy as a baby girl or vice versa. And unfortunately, I do that very often.

Yes, I like it when people refer to me as ‘Doctor’, but the questions that follow may or may not be answerable. Best ones…
1. What are you/want to specialise in? What’s that?

2. Beta we are going to need you in the future. You plan to stay here or go ‘foreign’?

Foreign?? Yeah sure. Export quality certified doctor in the house y’all!! Other than uninhibited lust for Madhuri Dixit, I am not planning to be another Dr. Nene.

3. Where is your posting these days? Do they treat knee joint pain?

4. So what are your plans after this?

In this NEET era where I’m currently unemployed, this particular question makes me cry.

5. What are your plans for marriage?

My answer to the last one is usually a fake “Ha ha” but honestly I feel like saying “I’m a Salman bhai fan. Celibacy till Katrina says yes”.

Then there are political discussions with elders where they ask us what we think because they want “point-of-view of the new generation” but is followed by looks that clearly shout ‘A generation which mocks Alok Nath and watches Sonakshi Sinha movies can know nothing about politics”. Factually correct but honestly, I don’t want to be a part of Rahul-Modi arguments, as long as Moditards are winning the argument.

It is fun but not easy to be a part of a joint family. But yes, like in all other respects, in political discussions too, Family Comes First.


About Ankit Sharma

Doctor and Drummer in making... Movie-buff since birth.
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