Being Intern – V: Let’s Play Rural-Rural

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“Bade din ho gaye, saala doctaron ke unglee nahi kari”… After the latest development, I am sure that is how every bimonthly meeting in Ministry of Health begins with.

This is not a point of view. This is just randomness at its worst. And frustration at its peak.

The latest order gives a doctor an option of either remaining an MBBS and dying a slow, jobless death, or to aim for an MD or MS degree after completing 365 days of internship in a hospital followed by 365 days of internship-like stuff in a village, at the end of which most of us would have made up our minds in favor of a slow, jobless death.

I am not really against working in a village. But just the word village scares me a bit. Sure, I wouldn’t mind working in a village that has a bar which serves Budweiser and shows live matches on plasma TVs. But then, thinking of village makes all those scenes from Swades come to my mind, and I can only imagine myself either dancing about stars in a shirt and trousers or pulling a generator piston wearing a baniyan.

What exactly do they require me to do their?? Write referral to tertiary hospital in illegible handwriting?? Distribute free paracetamols and cetrizines?? Or just sit there, give them aashwasan, and feel useless and confused(or as the Congress calls it, doing a ManMohanSingh)??

The worst nightmare would come true if they ask me to conduct deliveries there. I think as a male intern, I have seen enough Mehrunishas give birth to Zaibunishas so that 18 years later they can give birth to a few Badrunishas.

Speaking of deliveries, interesting labor room stats say that maximum deliveries are in September-October, around 37-40 weeks after peak wedding season November-December. (IfYouKnowWhatIMean). If there was any Nobel prize for patience, Indians won’t have much of a chance.

Protests, Strikes, Debates and a lot of alcohol(to swallow the truth) will follow. But deep inside we all know… That fresh smell of buffalo-dung awaits us.

Celebrating six months of ‘Being Intern’!! Well, not really celebrating.
😛

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About Ankit Sharma

Doctor and Drummer in making... Movie-buff since birth.
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