The 1st day of August of this year will mark a special milestone in my life, because I will complete 10 years of exams distributed around dealing with other people’s diarrhea and/or blood, politely referred to as ‘a career in medicine’. It will be an emotional moment for me, as I plan to take a day off to stay at home, relax a little and then bang my head against the wall when I finally realise my career mistakes. Just kidding. I’ll probably just Netflix and chill.
Anyway, there is not much to complain about, since I’m a 90s kid, and back then we only had two career options if we were born into middle class families: engineering or medicine. We were made to believe that those of us who didn’t made it into one of these would end up as a lowly street-food vendor/drug peddler/a housewife or all three of the above, hence I made my own choice based on the realisation that the only action I would ever have with the opposite gender would be holding a Gynaecology textbook in my hand.
It was a tough era, and sometimes I do think that had I taken engineering, I would have been at a better place in life in terms of enjoying Chetan Bhagat books. I might have gotten my MBA till now and would have had much more practical life skills, like making a PowerPoint presentation, as compared to my current skills which mostly include sweating in front of my examiners and to-be in-laws.
This is the 21st century, so of course we have other viable career options now, and while it might just be too late to consider them, let’s still talk about them because I need a new blog post:
1. Food blogger.
Although this may not seem like a real job, but trust me it is not as easy as it sounds. It takes a special amount of talent and self-restraint in taking a photo of the food on your plate, putting it up on social media and captioning it with words like ‘thin flaky rice crêpe with filling of spicy shallow-fried mashed-potatoes garnished with basil and lentils’ instead of saying “Arey lo Masala Dosa aa gaya” and simply eating it.
2. Musical.ly star.
As unbelievable as it may sound, there are a few people out there in the world who have thousands of admirers because they can lip-sync to Bollywood dialogues or do 10-second dance routines wearing a crop-top. I would’ve loved this career for myself but I’m not sure if people want to see me expose my mid-riff and perform belly dance. I fear that they’ll never be able to see a Bollywood item song ever again.
3. Professional photographer.
From being the entire plot of the movie Ghajini to becoming the passion of every engineering student who could afford a camera, the art of photography has come a long way. Yet, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. If you have a muscular body and/or a beard, you can become a fashion photographer. If you have enough money to go to exotic locations, you’ll become a nature photographer, although I’m not sure what it actually achieves other than risking getting mauled by a wild animal or getting some bird-droppings on your head. If you have a One-plus phone and an Instagram account, you’ll become ‘that irritating person whose account people want to unfollow’. I hope you get what I’m trying to imply.
4. Stand-up Comedian.
I attempt 6 paragraphs worth of jokes almost every alternate week here, and I can proudly tell you that I’ve so far received 4 fan-mails below my posts in the past 6 years, and I’m sure at least one of them was not a credit card advertisement. I have given a thought to doing stand-up someday, but my friends tell me that I’d be doing something I’m bound to suck at, much like Bobby Deol at the DJ console.
So, I guess my current job is the one for me. I don’t think my audience is that into Naiyyo-Naiyyo jokes.