Due to current social media trends and my deep-seated insecurities, I had spent almost the entire last two months of 2018 trying to hype my wedding in a way only national news channels could manage for Ranveer-Deepika. Fortunately for my wife, I failed at my attempt, then we successfully managed to coordinate our steps around holy fire seven times and the pundit pronounced us ‘Man and what-were-you-thinking-madam?’. The day marked the fulfillment of approximately 9 years of love and my long-standing wish to be able to go out of India for honeymoon.
Since coming back from Europe*, I have spent the past 15 days enjoying marital bliss and learning how to tuck in the bedsheet in the correct way. Yet, that is not be the only thing I have learnt or has changed in my life:
1. My refrigerator is now a much cleaner place, as compared to the biohazard it was till november. I helped the wife clean it while simultaneously realising that there is nothing common between Lizol, Mr. Muscle and Harpic (other than the fact that you’re not supposed to drink any of those, which I already knew).
2. My grocery list now runs longer than list of UPA government scandals. For ease of remembering, I have made sub-classifications like: a) things I knew I needed but did not know where to get them from, b) things I didn’t know I needed but could be called necessary for basic survival, and c) things I didn’t know actually existed. The prime example of the last category is kitchen-slab wiper.
3. I akso learnt that hand towel, face towel, bath towel and kitchen duster have to be four separate cloths. I take bath with a loofah now so I now realize how rich the bollywood actresses and SRK must be feeling in advertisement for Lux soaps.
4. It is a punishable offence to wipe your hands on the bedsheet after eating something. If your heart is pure and you listen with intent while reading this, you can almost hear the missus shouting at me for not following the law of the land.
5. It is an amazing feeling to live with a partner who will improve you as a human being and make you realise the importance of small things in life, such as putting one good point in your post after making fun of your marriage for four consecutive paragraphs.
I hope you all agree.