It is not everyday that an international celebrity comes to India, except if invited by the Prime minister for Republic Day or to get naughty with Shilpa Shetty. So, you can anticipate the excitement of the people when the frontman of the band Coldplay, Chris Martin, came to India! Except the fact that no one knew about this visit, hence making the news the most obvious example for a female KLPD ever.
The fact that he did not announce a concert or a tour beforehand makes me think that he came here to visit Taj Mahal or to do cheap drugs or visit red light areas of Goa or for whatever else the foreigners come to India for. I have the feeling he wanted to take a break from music and just chill. So here he was, chilling at a bar in Hauz Khas because he can afford beer there without the happy hours too. As reported, he sang 3 songs mostly because people wanted him to, hence giving us an international celebrity version of our own childhood’s “Beta chalo Uncle ko poem sunao” when we just didn’t want to.
The news spread the next day and it elicited different kinds of emotions from different people, depending on their gender and whether or not someone had killed their love for the song ‘Paradise’ by singing it on a Karaoke night:
Emotion 1: I hate you Chris!
A few among us, not realising that Chris Martin has better things to do than to read their status updates because he is not friends with them on facebook, went all Katti with him for not telling them that he was in town, so that they could have paid him ₹4000 to see his concert cancelled because of lack of security arrangements instead.
Emotion 2: Oh No! How could I miss it?
Until now, the above emotion was reserved for Haley’s comet and Poonam Pandey’s instagram updates. But it makes sense because the people who were there got a performance for free, and hence it was also about missing a free concert. It would have been fun if Chris Martin would have performed at a Paharganj bar though. Someone might have gotten up and said “Kya bore kar raha hai… Aashiqui 2 ke suna na bhen****!”
3. Emotion 3: Kaahe ka superstar? Hauz Khas me dhakke kha raha hai!
Probably the words of a few drunk people who were discussing this in Paharganj the next day.
Yes, I like his music. The above rant is just my way of venting it out for having missed his concert, because if it is free, the baniya inside me will even tolerate Anu Malik’s concert. Wait. I went too far didn’t I?